Sex Toys and Relationships: The Endless Benefits

The global sex toy market is estimated to be worth $45 billion by 2022. That’s a lot of money that people are spending on sex toys. A whole lotta bullet vibrators and handcuffs flying about. Have you got your first sex toy yet? No? Why the heck not!? If you haven’t joined the sex toy crew yet, you need to. And sex toys aren’t what they used to be. Gone are the days of cringey rubber dildos gathering dust and bacteria in your bedroom drawer. Now sex toys are luxurious, made of body-safe materials, and some don’t even look like sex toys. Let’s talk about sex toys some more, shall we?

What’s the big deal about sex toys?

Sex is great. There are so many different types of sex to have and so many different positions to do it in. Now imagine how creative you can get with some accessories and vibrators? Yes, now you’re on the same page as us. There are endless benefits to sex toys, but I would say the most important are the following:

1) Fun: Because sex toys are meant to give us pleasure, you’re obviously going to have fun.

2) Orgasms: About 75% of women cannot orgasm through sex alone. Therefore if you identify as a woman, a sex toy is only going to increase your chances of climaxing. And you can bet that your partner wants to see that happen!

3) Trying out kinks: A lot of sex toys are associated with certain kinks and fetishes. And without these sex toys you can’t really indulge in such scenarios. For example, there are lots of fetishes and kinks under the BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism) umbrella that require sex toys and accessories, such as bondage gear, floggers, crops, gags, etc.

4) Sexual empowerment: The boom of the sex toy industry has really empowered a lot of people. There is a growing realization that you don’t need a partner to have good sex. Women in particular have discovered the power of their g-spots and clits without anyone near them. Personally, I don’t know what I did before I had a vibrator. The fact that whenever I get horny, I can just whip out my favourite sex toy and have MULTIPLE ORGASMS … it’s mind-blowing. It’s the most self-indulgent thing you can do, and it is necessary in today’s world what with global warming and pandemics kicking about. We need a win damnit and it’s gonna be on our clits.

5) Why not? There is no harm in trying out sex toys. If they’re not for you, they’re not for you. We’re pretty sure, though, that you will find something that tickles your fancy. Sex toys don’t harm anyone, so why not try them out?

Sex toy judgement

Now, listen, sex toys – particularly vibrators – are fantastic for female pleasure, considering that hardly any of us orgasm from penetration alone. However they do not replace a lover. Despite the sexual reawakening we’ve been experiencing in the last fifteen years or so, some men are still reluctant to include sex toys in their sex lives. We’re talking about a situation where a woman might need extra stimulation from a vibrator to orgasm during penetrative sex. Because it’s the vibrator pushing the woman over the edge, not her male partner, the man in question might feel ashamed that he couldn’t do it himself and therefore resents the sex toy. There is absolutely no reason for a man to feel this way. An orgasm is something that occurs through someone or more than one person creating an arousing situation to the point where peak arousal occurs. It is not something that someone gives to someone else. If the man in this scenario thinks about female orgasm in this way, he will see that an orgasm that happens between a man and a woman is a collaboration, not a one-man job. The vibrator is just a helper in the situation. And if this man forgets about his sex toy resentment and sees that his woman is actually orgasming in front of him, giving him the ultimate show … he’s going to want to bring more toys into the bedroom!

How to get into sex toys

The only issue I can find with sex toys is the fact that there are so many options out there now for all kinds of people. Just in the vibrator category alone there are so many different types (clitoral, g-spot, vaginal, penis-shaped, remote control, love eggs, rabbits, ergonomic-shaped, extra quiet, extra powerful, etc.). Then there’s other toys like bondage gear, nipple clamps, gags, spanking equipment, sex machines, sex swings, erotic massage candles, etc. As a newbie it can be overwhelming. Our advice is to first think about what you want the toy to add to your sex life. Do you crave more orgasms? Get a vibrator. Want to dip your toe into BDSM? Try some wrist restraints and a crop.

Pick one toy at first, or some companies even offer sets that are ideal for beginners. Here are some of our recommendations from Bestvibe:

- Essential Adult Sex Toy Box: Containing a classic wand vibrator, a remote-control panty vibrator, a vibrating egg and a stylish flogger for the BDSM vibes, this sex toy kit is perfect for beginners. It has everything a woman needs for clitoral, g-spot and sensual, BDSM-style stimulation. And you can even use the wand vibrator to massage your man. It’s a winning combo.

- Eris - The Black Heating Bunny: A rabbit vibrator is great for a vagina-having person who is new to vibrators. It’s easy to use and will give you the best dual-stimulation orgasms. Oh and this bunny warms up too, creating that hot and sweaty vibe you get in the middle of sex. *Chef’s kiss*.

- Eos – Bullet Vibrator: Every woman NEEDS a bullet vibrator. I don’t care what anyone else says, I will forever say that a bullet is the perfect sex toy. It’s small, compact, yet powerful. Just charge this bad boy up and put it on your clit. You will see what I mean. The best thing about this type of vibrator is that it’s small enough to also stimulate your clit during sex. The Eos has ten frequencies, is waterproof and USB-rechargeable. That beats my three-setting bullet that ate up AAA batteries like candy when I first started on my vibrator journey.

Which non-vibrator sex toys should beginners try?

If you fancy testing out a little BDSM, start small. And by small, I mean small. This could be a blindfold and a crop or flogger, or perhaps even some bed restraints. Test them out and see how you feel. You can always buy more down the line. Other fun toys beginners could try include: pussy pumps, handcuffs, Ben Wa balls and nipple clamps. There is no toy that is the perfect toy for a newbie couple to try. All you have to do is have a look in a sex shop (in person or online) and see what takes your fancy. The one piece of advice I would give is definitely to invest in a non-vibrator sex toy. Things like restraints can really bring the layer of spice that a vibrator cannot.

The climax …

So what have we learnt so far, people? Sex toys are a no-brainer, that’s right! There is no harm in trying out sex toys. If you decide that they are not for you, that’s cool. But I’m going to put money down that you find something that you absolutely love. Sex toys are a great way to experiment with new sexual scenarios and ways to pleasure yourself and your partner. So what are you waiting for?