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How To Spice Up Your Sex Life With Sex Toys

Written by: Bestvibe Published on November 11,2022

Some people will say that any sex is good, but if you've been in a relationship for a while, you know that from time to time, it's important to spice things up and try new things.

Sex isn't everything in a relationship, but keeping sex exciting, fun, and enjoyable for you and your partner means doing the work and not doing the same thing every day.

Whether things in your bedroom are on their way too good or too great, there are a few simple tricks for How to Spice Up Your Sex Life.

Learn Something New

Exploring sex together through reading and videos can help you and your partner finds new things to try and become more comfortable sharing judgment free.

Build Some Stamina

Speaking of construction projects, building stamina is a great way to increase pleasure and enjoyment in the bedroom. Lifting some weights might be great for a few positions, but one exercise is excellent for every position.

Try New Positions

Different positions can stimulate different erogenous zones for both partners, and you can unlock deeper forms of pleasure by focusing more on erogenous zones like the G-spot and prostate.

Only some things may feel great to you or your partner. The key is to keep trying new stuff until you find some things that work for you.

Accessorize Your Intimacy

Toys, toys, toys are your friends. Forget whatever toxic stigma is associated with finding pleasure sans accessories because using toys to up your game is the way to go.

Confess Some Fantasies

You know that telling your partner about the roleplay in your head might get them in the mood, but what's stopping you is the fear of rejection that might also result. Luckily there are ways to build trust and open dialogues about these things without popping the question.

Start with some recreational viewing: a movie scene, a clip from Porn, or some erotica might set the stage for you to bring it up — or for them to get the message without having to.

Make Space For Your Partner to Do The Same Things

Speaking of setting the stage, it's essential to make sure that, if you're expecting your partner to be judgment-free and supportive of your vulnerability, you're offering them the same safe space.

Remember: your partner is more than a sexual being. They're not machines.

Communication is Key

Communication is also powerfully crucial for each partner's comfort, mainly if painful sex disorders are a part of your partner's life or your own. In these cases, communication is essential in foreplay, ensuring adequate lubrication and checking your partner's comfort during penetration.

Bringing in The Topic of Sex Toys

There are lots of ways sex toys can enhance sexuality in established relationships. In fact, research shows established couples report higher levels of pleasure from adding toys to their sexual repertoire more than any other type of erotic play. This benefit is partly due to the high level of mutual trust couples experience when they play with toys. They also tend to have a more mature and secure approach to the unfamiliar and unexpected.

Are you or your partner hesitant to try sex toys? Unless you and your partner are particularly open and adventurous by nature, introducing sex toys can be a little tricky.

If you have an interest in using sex toys and your partner is unaware of your curiosity, you might feel awkward introducing your fantasies. Or you might feel shy talking about your new interest. Some men in heterosexual relationships may initially feel that sex toys are a threat. They may view toys as something their partner desires because they are not satisfied in bed. Men can make up that using sex toys means they have a lacking in size, or talent, and they are failing to provide their partner sexual satisfaction.

Broaching the subject of adding something new to liven up your love life can, no matter how well intentioned, imply that sex has gotten boring. Start with an appreciation for your partner (see Dr. Tammy Nelson’s Getting the Sex You Want for more on how to use sexual appreciations) and let your partner know that you want to add in more pleasure to your love life, expanding on what’s already working. And remind your partner that sex ‘toys’ are just that–toys. They are meant to add fun and play to your erotic life.

What are Sex Toys?

Sex toys — also called adult toys or "marital aids" — are things people use for more pleasure during masturbation. Sometimes sex toys can also have medical benefits if you have a medical condition.

What are the different types of sex toys?

There are thousands of different sex toys out there. Some of the most familiar ones include:

● Vibrators — Things that vibrate to stimulate your genitals. It's standard for people to use vibrators to promote their clitoris and other parts of their vulva and vagina. Some can go inside a vagina or anus, and others are meant to be used outside the body.

● Dildos — Objects that go inside a vagina, anus, or mouth. Dildos come in numerous shapes and sizes, but they're often shaped like a penis. Some look like realistic penises, and others are more conceptual.

● Sleeves — You put your penis into soft tubes. Sleeves come in all shapes and sizes and often have different textures on the inside for more sensation. Some even have vibration or suction.

● Pumps — Vacuum-like devices that use a hand or battery-powered pump to create suction around your penis, clitoris, vulva, or nipples. Pumps drive blood flow to the area, which helps increase sensitivity and sensation. Some people also like the feeling of suction.

How Do I Use Sex Toys Safely?

Sharing sex toys with other people can spread STDs — if someone who has an STD utilizes a sex toy, the body fluids on that toy can spread the infection to the following individual who uses that toy. So if you're using a sex toy with a partner, it's essential to take steps to help control STDs.

Wash your sex toys with mild soap and water after you use them and before they touch another person's genitals. Putting condoms on sex toys can help keep them clean and prevent the spread of STDs. Make sure you change condoms before the toy touches another person's genitals.

If you're using a sex toy in your anus, make sure you use lots of lube. The anus doesn't lubricate itself (get wet) the way a vagina does, so putting something in your butt without adding lube can be painful, uncomfortable, and unsafe. And never put a sex toy that's been in an anus into a vagina without washing it or changing the condom first. If germs from your anus get into your vagina, it can lead to vaginitis.

It's also essential to ensure that any sex toy you use in your anus has a broad base or some other way to keep it from going all the way in. (You can't lose a sex toy in your vagina because your cervix blocks the end of it.) if a sex toy goes so far into your anus that you can't reach it, you may need to see a nurse or doctor to get it out.

What's the Best Way to Clean Sex Toys?

Proper cleaning of sex toys is essential to avoid bacterial infection or transmission of STIs. While some STIs die once the fluid they live in dries, others can live for weeks or months outside the body. If you want to prevent pregnancy, removing sperm that may be on the sex toy before using it near or in the vagina is essential. It's important to keep the instructions for cleaning the sex toy and to follow them carefully. If you feel cleaning the toy properly would be too time-consuming or unrealistic, think about buying a different toy. The information provided below gives a general overview of cleaning different types of toys and isn't meant to replace the manufacturer's instructions.

Benefits of Increased Sex

It's fairly intuitive to understand How to Spice Up Your Sex Life, but there are also several physical benefits from sex. Some of these include:

● Better physical fitness: Sex is a form of exercise. According to the American Heart Association, sexual activity is equivalent to moderate physical activities, like brisk walking or climbing two flights of stairs.

● Enhanced brain function: Preliminary studies on rats found that more frequent intercourse was correlated with better cognitive function and the growth of new brain cells. Similar benefits have since been observed in human studies. A 2018 study of over 6,000 adults linked frequent sex with better memory performance in adults ages 50 and older.

● Improved immune function: Being more sexually active positively affects immune function. Regular sex may lower your likelihood of getting a cold or the flu.

● Lower pain levels: The endorphins from sex promote more than just a sense of well-being and calm. Sex endorphins also appear to reduce migraine and back pain.

● Weight loss: Having sex for 30 minutes burns an average of 200 calories. The rewarding brain chemicals released during sex can subdue food cravings and support weight loss.


How often do couples have sex?

While frequency varies based on various factors, including age and marital status, research suggests that couples have sex an average of once per week.

What are the health benefits of having sex?

Having sex is connected to a range of positive health effects, including increased energy, better mood, lower stress, lower anxiety, decreased prostate cancer risk, lower blood pressure, and a lower risk of heart disease.


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